Thursday, January 13, 2011

Ken Rockwell facts...

Browsing thru lowyat.net and found this hilarious piece by a forumer. Thought I might share this with you guys.  It's not everyday you can see a photography joke..  hehe

FYI, Mr. Rockwell does reviews on dslr, not only for nikon, but for other brands too. But he's known to be a Nikon guy in the photography community.

Those who wants to know more, checkout his site at http://kenrockwell.com/

Many useful tips too.. plus, if you are into photography, you should know this guy .. IMHO.
So.. here are the Ken Rockwell facts ! lol! 

  • Ken Rockwell is the Chuck Norris of photography
  • Ken Rockwell's camera has similar settings to ours, except his are: P[erfect] Av[Awesome Priority Tv[Totally Awesome Priority] M[ajestic]
  • Ken Rockwell doesn't color correct. He adjusts your world to match his.
  • Sure, Ken Rockwell deletes a bad photo or two. Other people call these Pulitzers.
  • Ken Rockwell doesn't adjust his DOF, he changes space-time.
  • Circle of confusion? You might be confused. Ken Rockwell never is.
  • Ken Rockwell doesn't wait for the light when he shoots a landscape - the light waits for him.
  • Ken Rockwell never flips his camera in portrait position, he flips the earth
  • Ken Rockwell ordered an L-lens from Nikon, and got one.
  • Ken Rockwell is the only person to have photographed Jesus; unfortunately he ran out of film and had to use a piece of cloth instead.
  • When Ken Rockwell brackets a shot, the three versions of the photo win first place in three different categories
  • Before Nikon or Canon releases a camera they go to Ken and they ask him to test them, the best cameras get a Nikon sticker and the less good get a Canon sticker
  • Once Ken tested a camera, he said: 'I cant even put Canon on this one', that's how Pentax was borne
  • Rockwellian policy isn't doublethink - Ken doesn't even need to think once
  • Ken Rockwell doesn't use flash ever since the Nagasaki incident.
  • Only Ken Rockwell can take pictures of Ken Rockwell; everyone else would just get their film overexposed by the light of his genius
  • Ken Rockwell wanted something to distract the lesser photographers, and lo, there were ducks.
  • Ken Rockwell is the only one who can take self-portraits of you
  • Ken Rockwell's nudes were fully clothed at the time of exposure
  • Ken Rockwell once designed a zoom lens. You know it as the Hubble Space Telescope.
  • When Ken unpacks his CF card, it already has masterpieces on it.
  • Rockwell portraits are so lifelike, they have to pay taxes
  • On Ken Rockwell's desktop, the Trash Icon is really a link to National Geographic Magazine
  • Ken Rockwell spells point-and-shoot "h-a-s-s-e-l-b-l-a-d"
  • When Ken Rockwell went digital, National Geographic nearly went out of business because he was no longer phyically discarding photos
  • For every 10 shots that Ken Rockwell takes, 11 are keepers.
  • Ken Rockwell's digital files consist of 0's, 1's AND 2's.
  • Ken Rockwell never focus, everything moves into his DoF
  • Ken Rockwell's shots are so perfect, Adobe redesigned photoshop for him: all it consists of is a close button.
  • The term 'tripod' was coined after his silhouette
  • Ken Rockwell never produces awful work, only work too advanced for the viewer
  • A certain brand of high-end camera was named after people noticed the quality was a lot "like-a" Rockwell
  • Ken Rockwell isn't the Chuck Norris of photography; Chuck Norris is the Ken Rockwell of martial arts.
  • Ken Rockwell never starts, he continues

by now you should be rolling on the floor.. or look up Ken Rockwell.. or look for meaning for the photography jargon.